the next day, an errand needed to be run to a distant store in an unfamiliar place and he didn't want to do it. i heard myself volunteer with a bit of a glimmer in my soul and he said go. so i drove down to the end of the road, turned onto the open highway and headed further this time. stayed away longer too. this time the wires between fence posts were stretched to the ground where i could get through with hardly any resistance at all.
who put those fences up at the borders of the plateau? who said to stay within for beauty, serenity and comfort? maybe it seems like my man did by the way i waited for his insistence that i could go. no, i built them myself and carefully too. i made a narrowly beautiful, picturesque life for us here in our country town. defined beauty by wide open spaces, quiet, mountain vistas, charming farm-town. in my definition of beauty there was no room for mess. no room for urban sprawl, advertising, obvious poverty. i wanted to be be away from it all.
well, a small life is okay for a worn out momma of little ones, wide open spaces with room to breathe console weary souls.
but i'm beyond it now. freedom means more to me than anything. oh beauty still matters a whole lot too. only, beauty is the big wide world these days. beauty is a trip to the city to hear brandi carlile enchant the audience at benaroya hall with a broken hallelujah. beauty is a trip to a cider pub to experience a hard cider tasting. beauty is adventure, even if you have to drive through the industrial district to get there.